More Than a Phase
For many young adults, the years between ages 18 and 30 bring more questions than answers. As individuals move away from the structure of childhood and into the independence of adulthood, they often ask themselves, “Who am I, really?” This question isn’t just philosophical—it reflects a core psychological process known as identity formation.
Emerging adulthood is a stage where individuals begin to define their personal values, career goals, cultural affiliations, sexual identity, and relational roles. Yet, while society often focuses on academic or professional milestones during this stage, it tends to overlook the mental toll of navigating an internal identity crisis. Feeling uncertain, overwhelmed, or disconnected during this time is not only common—it is part of the human experience.
This article explores the mental health implications of identity formation in emerging adulthood, including the effects of confusion, the importance of self-exploration, and how therapy can support young adults who are struggling with these foundational life questions.
Identity Formation: A Developmental Necessity
Why Identity Matters
Identity is more than just a label—it’s the way we understand ourselves in the world. It includes our beliefs, roles, goals, and how we relate to others. According to developmental psychologist Erik Erikson, identity formation is a critical task of adolescence and young adulthood. While teenagers begin this process, emerging adults deepen it by applying their developing sense of self to real-world roles, choices, and relationships.
A 2021 review in Journal of Youth and Adolescence found that individuals with a well-developed sense of identity experienced better psychological outcomes, higher resilience, and lower levels of anxiety and depression (Schwartz et al., 2021). In contrast, those with unstable or poorly defined identities often reported increased confusion, emotional distress, and difficulty in decision-making.
Areas of Identity Development
Identity is not a single idea—it is built from multiple dimensions that often evolve over time:
- Personal Identity: Values, interests, and personality traits that form a sense of individuality.
- Cultural Identity: Connection to heritage, traditions, or national background.
- Sexual and Relational Identity: How one relates to others in romantic or sexual contexts.
- Professional Identity: One’s role or aspiration within a workplace or career path.
While each of these domains develops independently, they are often interconnected. Challenges in one area—for example, professional uncertainty—can trigger broader identity-related anxiety.
The Mental Health Impact of Identity Confusion
Uncertainty Leads to Distress
In an ideal world, identity exploration would be supported by time, mentorship, and meaningful experiences. But for many emerging adults, the process is rushed, unsupported, or filled with pressure. This leads to what psychologists call identity diffusion—a lack of clarity or commitment to core values or goals.
A 2022 study in Clinical Psychology Review found that identity diffusion in young adults was strongly correlated with symptoms of depression, low self-esteem, and social withdrawal, especially when combined with high levels of external pressure (Klimstra et al., 2022).
Comparison Culture Makes It Worse
Today’s emerging adults are also navigating identity in an environment saturated by social comparison. With social media constantly displaying curated images of success, beauty, and purpose, many young adults begin to doubt whether their own journey is valid.
A 2023 meta-analysis in Computers in Human Behavior concluded that extended exposure to comparison-heavy social media platforms increased identity confusion and dissatisfaction in emerging adults, especially when it came to appearance, career progress, and social belonging (Sharma et al., 2023).
The Emotional Cost of Inauthentic Living
When young adults feel pressured to adopt identities that don’t align with their inner values—whether for approval, stability, or image—they may experience chronic inner conflict. Over time, this leads to symptoms of anxiety, burnout, and a sense of being lost or emotionally numb.
In other words, when people live out a role that doesn’t match their true self, mental health often suffers.
How Therapy Helps Support Identity Development
Providing a Safe Space for Exploration
Therapy offers a structured, confidential environment where clients can ask important but difficult questions about who they are and who they want to become. Rather than prescribing a path, therapists encourage self-discovery through open-ended reflection, values clarification, and guided exercises.
Cognitive-behavioral approaches can help clients challenge distorted beliefs about what they “should” be, while acceptance-based therapies guide individuals to tolerate uncertainty as they grow into a more defined self.
Reducing Avoidance and Building Clarity
Avoiding identity exploration—by jumping into jobs, relationships, or distractions—may bring temporary relief but often creates long-term confusion. Therapy gently challenges this avoidance and helps clients take small, courageous steps toward clarity.
A 2022 article in Journal of Counseling Psychology found that clients who engaged in weekly therapy targeting identity questions showed significant improvements in mood, clarity, and decision-making ability within 12 weeks (Hall et al., 2022).
Connecting the Past to the Present
Often, the question “Who am I?” is shaped by early life messages. Therapy helps uncover how past family dynamics, cultural expectations, or earlier experiences have influenced self-perception. By connecting these dots, clients begin to separate inherited identities from chosen ones—a key step in becoming emotionally independent.
Real-Life Example: Daniel’s Story
Daniel, 25, was a quiet and thoughtful college graduate who had landed a corporate job his parents were proud of. On paper, his life was stable. But inside, he felt aimless, uninspired, and increasingly anxious. He often asked himself, “Is this really who I am?” and “What if I made the wrong choices?”
In therapy, Daniel explored how his decisions were based more on avoiding disappointment than following passion. His therapist helped him reflect on what actually brought him joy—creative writing, volunteering, and meaningful relationships. Over time, Daniel realized he had been playing a role to maintain approval rather than building a life based on his own values.
Eventually, he transitioned into a writing-focused career path and reported reduced anxiety and a greater sense of purpose. Daniel’s story is not unique—it reflects the emotional tension many young adults feel when living out someone else’s idea of success.
Practical Strategies for Navigating Identity Questions
Even outside of therapy, emerging adults can take proactive steps to better understand who they are:
- Journal Regularly: Writing about your experiences and reactions can help reveal consistent themes and values.
- Take Inventory: Ask yourself what gives you energy and what drains you. Patterns often hold clues.
- Reflect on Role Models: Who do you admire and why? What does that say about your own goals?
- Try, Reflect, Adjust: Identity is not discovered—it is shaped through trial and reflection. Don’t be afraid to pivot.
- Limit Comparison: Social media is a highlight reel, not a life guide. Focus on your own growth.
Conclusion: Becoming Who You Are Takes Time
Emerging adulthood is a complex, sometimes disorienting chapter—but it’s also one of the most meaningful. The process of identity formation doesn’t happen all at once, and it certainly doesn’t follow a perfect script. As uncomfortable as it can be, uncertainty is part of growth.
If you are asking, “Who am I, really?”—you’re not broken, behind, or alone. You are doing the hard and necessary work of becoming. With support, patience, and honest self-reflection, you can build a life that not only looks good from the outside—but feels right on the inside.
References
- Schwartz, S. J., Côté, J. E., & Arnett, J. J. (2021). Identity formation in emerging adulthood: Reviewing the field and looking forward. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 50(3), 555–573. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-020-01363-5
- Klimstra, T. A., Crocetti, E., & Meeus, W. H. (2022). Identity development and psychological well-being during emerging adulthood: A meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 92, 102129. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2022.102129
- Sharma, A., Nelson, T., & Bhatia, R. (2023). Social media comparison and identity confusion in emerging adults. Computers in Human Behavior, 139, 107512. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2022.107512
- Hall, S., Watkins, L. E., & Mancini, K. J. (2022). The role of therapy in supporting identity development in young adults. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 69(2), 211–225. https://doi.org/10.1037/cou0000581
American Psychological Association. (2021). Guidelines for psychological practice with emerging adults. https://www.apa.org/about/policy/emerging-adults.pdf