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Emerging Adults and Identity Struggles: How to Cope

Kruti Quazi MA, LPC, CCTP, CDBT

Naya Therapy

In recent years, young adults in their twenties have increasingly reported feeling lost, overwhelmed, or confused about who they are. Questions like “Who am I, really?” or “Where do I belong?” are not merely reflective musings—they have become identity struggles mental health emergencies for many in this age group. The identity crisis, once a known but manageable challenge during early adulthood, has now escalated into what some clinicians and researchers refer to as a generational pandemic of confusion, comparison, and self-doubt.

This article explores the underlying causes of this crisis, its mental health consequences, and therapeutic strategies to help young adults find grounded, meaningful ways of knowing and accepting themselves.


The Twenties: A Pressure Cooker of Self-Definition

Traditionally, the twenties were seen as a time of exploration—whether in relationships, careers, values, or worldviews. Psychologist Jeffrey Arnett coined the term “emerging adulthood” to describe this life stage between adolescence and full adult independence. However, what was once a hopeful framework has, for many, become a source of psychological paralysis.

Today’s young adults face a barrage of pressures that amplify identity confusion. These include:

  • Incessant social comparison on digital platforms
  • Political polarization tied to personal identities
  • The rise of performative “labeling” as a substitute for real self-understanding
  • A collapsing of public and private self due to online visibility
  • Greater exposure to terminology around race, gender, and mental health—without the guidance to process it constructively

All of these combine to create a context in which identity becomes less about grounded personal development and more about assertion, alignment, and constant redefinition.


Mental Health Consequences of Identity Overload

When identity is treated as a moving target—something to constantly declare, defend, or refine—young adults may experience increased mental distress. Below are several patterns clinicians have observed.

1. Chronic Anxiety and Decision Paralysis

When every choice—career, lifestyle, political belief—is seen as a reflection of identity, decision-making becomes a minefield. Many report panic over simple life choices, fearing that the “wrong” decision will betray who they are or will be judged harshly by peers.

2. Social Withdrawal and Loneliness

Ironically, the constant push to define oneself can isolate young adults. Those who feel they don’t “fit in” with dominant identity narratives or who are unsure of their labels may withdraw socially. This loneliness can deepen symptoms of depression and self-doubt.

3. Over-identification with Labels

While diagnostic terms (like ADHD, depression, or anxiety) and identity descriptors (like nonbinary or neurodivergent) can provide comfort and clarity, they can also become psychological cages. Some individuals become so enmeshed with their labels that they resist personal growth or nuance in favor of stability through identification.


Causes: Why Identity Has Become Such a Central Obsession

1. Digital Life and Social Performance

Social media rewards performance over authenticity. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and X (formerly Twitter) reward identity declarations, hashtag affiliations, and visually “branded” personas. The self becomes something curated, and without constant attention and validation, many users feel invisible or irrelevant.

2. Decline of Traditional Anchors

In past generations, identity was often shaped by relatively fixed structures: family values, religion, local community, or job roles. These institutions have weakened or become fragmented, especially in urban and digital-first cultures. This leaves young people without external frameworks to explore identity through lived experience.

3. Misuse of Therapy Speak

Popular psychology terms like “boundaries,” “toxic,” and “gaslighting” have become normalized online—but not always accurately. This misuse can cause interpersonal rifts and distorted self-concepts, especially when people interpret every conflict as trauma or every disagreement as abuse.

4. Cultural and Academic Trends

The explosion of identity studies in academia has filtered into everyday conversation. While this brings greater awareness of diversity, it also creates pressure to constantly audit one’s own identity intersections, which can overwhelm those still developing a stable sense of self.


Real-World Example: Samantha’s Story

Samantha, a 24-year-old graduate student, began therapy feeling increasingly depressed and unsure of herself. She had changed her career path twice in two years, shifted between multiple sexual orientation labels, and cycled through several friend groups that she described as “identity-based.”

She disclosed feeling “fake” no matter what group she aligned with. She had absorbed the idea that identity was something to prove, not something to explore. With structured therapy, she began examining her values—not just her affiliations—and rediscovered parts of herself she had abandoned in the rush to be politically and socially aligned.

Eventually, Samantha built a more grounded identity based on what she enjoyed, what gave her meaning, and how she wanted to show up in relationships—not on what label felt most popular. Her anxiety decreased, and she reported more confidence in personal and academic decisions.


The Role of Therapy: Helping Young Adults Reconnect With Themselves

1. Focus on Core Values

Rather than pushing for external labels, therapy can help explore what matters most: compassion, freedom, creativity, responsibility. Values offer stable anchors even as external identities evolve.

2. Encourage Real-Life Experimentation

Young adults benefit from experience, not just introspection. Trying out roles, relationships, and jobs in low-stakes ways teaches more than theorizing about identity.

3. Teach Critical Thinking About Identity Culture

Learning to distinguish between self-exploration and social conformity empowers authenticity. Clients can assess the psychological cost of constant identity declaration.

4. Discourage Over-reliance on Labels

Diagnoses or identity terms should be tools, not destinations. Therapy emphasizes that people are more than their labels.


What’s the Alternative? Stable Identity Through Humility and Growth

Identity development is a normal part of early adulthood. But when identity becomes performative or rigid, it stalls emotional growth. The alternative is to see identity as dynamic yet grounded—based on humility, curiosity, and values-driven action.

It’s okay not to have everything figured out by 25. What’s damaging is the belief that self-worth hinges on having a perfectly defined identity that aligns with others’ expectations.


Conclusion

The identity crisis among twenty-somethings is real—and growing. But the solution isn’t more labels, louder declarations, or perfect alignment with trends. It’s turning inward, clarifying what really matters, and giving permission to grow without apology or performance.


References

  1. Arnett, J. J. (2021). Emerging adulthood: The winding road from the late teens through the twenties. Oxford University Press.
  2. Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2023). The narcissism epidemic revisited. Clinical Psychological Science. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/21677026221143663
  3. Fardouly, J., & Vartanian, L. R. (2021). Social media and body image concerns: Current research and future directions. Current Opinion in Psychology, 36, 1–5. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2020.04.005
  4. Andreassen, C. S., et al. (2023). Social media use and identity confusion among young adults. Computers in Human Behavior Reports, 7. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chbr.2022.100168
  5. Hayes, S. C., & Hofmann, S. G. (2020). Process-based CBT: The science and core clinical competencies. Context Press.
  6. Lammers, J., & Baldwin, M. (2020). Past-focused temporal communication can improve intergroup relations. PNAS, 117(38), 23456–23464. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2007616117
  7. Tarrant, M., et al. (2022). Identity resilience and mental health among emerging adults. Journal of Youth Studies. https://doi.org/10.1080/13676261.2022.2063599
  8. McCrae, N., & Banerjee, D. (2021). Digital identity performance and mental health in youth. The Lancet Psychiatry. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2215-0366(21)00267-1
  9. Morin, A. (2023). Self-reflection and identity stability. Journal of Constructivist Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1080/10720537.2023.2198423
  10. Schwartz, S. J., & Petrova, M. (2022). Identity development in adolescence and emerging adulthood. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 31(1), 65–82. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chc.2021.08.001

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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and may not be used as medical advice.  Names have been changed to protect patient privacy.  Please contact your doctor or therapist for proper medical advice or call/text Naya Therapy at 863-320-2545 to schedule an appointment with a therapist.